plates hand-colouredflowers seenprices in guilders and, this year, in tulips
"There is maybe some leader that invests in a project, but everyone else in the herd just follows on the basis of that person's doing the investment, and they just throw their money into the project without understanding."Peter Garber, economist, on the tulip trade of 1636. The Tulip Bubble (2013).
Across the canal, the other house sells painted flowers that are still in the ground. Lovely paintings. We are the Slow Garden: we grow ours, we sell them when they bloom, and we are having, frankly, the best spring of our lives. So we have reprinted the famous book with one small addition. Next to each of their bulbs, we have placed one of ours. We thought it might be helpful. Have a look.
The plates
six varieties · their bulb, our bulb · lift either to see what is in the ground
Plate Ithe anchor bulb
Admirael Groen
unit of account, across the canal
Their bulbThe house colour is green. Sold to buyers with money lent by the seller; the seller invests in the buyer; the buyer rents the flower back to the seller; the seller counts the rent as demand. Terms, read aloud from their own small print: bitter margins for everyone else, long months in the dark about what any of it costs, honour and recognition in case of success. Safe return doubtful.
Our bulbGreen too, but on the leaves. Sold to a person, for money, once. Safe return: April.
3,000 fl. · one Admiraelmodern: one accelerator, delivered, financed by the growerours: one tulip, in April, 2 fl.
theirs changed hands today: 0
Plate IIartist's impression
Semper Usefulness
theirs: never seen in bloom · ours: see below
Their bulbTheir most famous flower has never been seen in bloom. Nobody on record has held one and nobody has been sent a bill for one. Much admired.
Our bulbOurs has been seen in bloom. That is the whole plate.
a grand house in Amsterdammodern: trillions, per the seller · invoiced to date: 0ours: one tulip, in April, 2 fl. · invoiced to date: all of them
theirs changed hands today: 0
Plate IIIthe wind trade
Windhandel Rex
memorandum of understanding
Their bulbSold before it was grown, announced before it was sold, ten percent down, the rest on the wind. Announced: 500,000,000,000 fl. Raised: 0 fl.
Our bulbSold after it grew, to someone who wanted it, for money that arrived. We realise this is old-fashioned.
500,000,000,000 fl. announcedraised: 0 fl. · modern: the same, in dollarsours: one tulip, in April, 2 fl. · announced: never · raised: 2 fl.
theirs changed hands today: 0
Plate IVa late variety
Residual Value Guarantee
theirs: twenty-five percent · ours: one hundred, in flowers
Their bulbGuarantees that a bulb bought at 100 will be worth 25 to the party who sold it at 100. Fifteen points better than the tulips managed.
Our bulbWe guarantee that a bulb bought at 100 is a tulip. In April. Every year so far.
750 fl. · a quarter of an Admiraelpayable by the Admirael · terms: see Admiraelours: one tulip, in April, 2 fl. · guaranteed by the soil
theirs changed hands today: 0
Plate Vthe round trip
Circulator
theirs: both directions counted · ours: one direction, once
Their bulbMoney leaves as investment and comes back as revenue. Both legs are counted. The circuit is called a market.
Our bulbOur money leaves the customer and does not come back. We are told this is called a sale.
3,000 fl. out · 3,000 fl. backbooked at 6,000 · net movement: noneours: one tulip, in April, 2 fl. · booked at 2 · net movement: one tulip, one way
theirs changed hands today: 0
Plate VIthe virus
Broken Flame
theirs: cause undetectable · ours: cause in the garden
Their bulbTheir most valuable pattern is caused by a virus nobody can find. The flame is the story; the story is what is priced.
Our bulbOur most valuable pattern is caused by a gardener. You can find him. He is in the garden.
4,500 fl. · this morningmodern: the multiple · priced daily, in the tavern, at whatever the story fetched lastours: one tulip, in April, 2 fl. · same as yesterday, we checked
theirs changed hands today: 0
The two boards
theirs: back room, bids from ten in the morning · ours: a card on the garden gate
Their board
the tavern · bulbs remain in the ground until June · press Bid, watch the numbers go
plate
current price
changed hands today
tavern clock: 10:00hands changed, all bulbs: 0paper outstanding: 0 fl.cash paid: 0 fl.bulbs lifted from the ground: 0
The tape is blank. Press Bid on any plate. The bulb stays where it is; the paper does the travelling. It is very exciting over there.
Our board
the Slow Garden · open when the flowers are
flowers sold this spring0
toa person
reasonshe liked it
cash received0 fl.
paper outstanding0 fl.
Press it. The number goes up. So does the cash. We are aware this is unusual.
April
In February 1637 a lot was called in a tavern and nobody raised a hand; by the next day the paper was worth nothing and the bulbs, unmoved, were still in the ground. Then April came, as it does, without a memorandum, and they flowered. Ours will too. It is the one forecast in this book.
The settlement
10%1637. The authorities let outstanding contracts settle at a tenth of the liability. Everyone went home.
25%2026. The residual value guarantee, offered by the party who set the value. Fifteen points better. Well done, across the canal.
100%Ours settle at one hundred percent. In flowers.
The one difference
Fair is fair: tulips left no wreckage, because nothing had been built for them. This time the bulbs are made of metal, age in about three years, and are pledged against the loans that bought them. Grow accordingly.
The flowers, seen
The other house paints its flowers. We photograph ours, in the garden, in bloom, at the moment they are worth exactly what a tulip is worth. Every plate below is a real flower a real person could see, smell, and, if she liked it, buy. No artist was consulted.
plates are added as they bloom. each is dated and placed. none has been in a tavern.
Some bulbs are sold in a tavern. Ours are sold in bloom.
This message was brought to you by the Worth Building Institute. Nothing worth building was ever priced in a tavern.
the ten percent settlement and the back-room trading detail are taken from the 2013 documentary The Tulip Bubble and from the standard histories; their board is a reconstruction and the odds are the house's. no tulips were harmed and no GPUs were lifted; the Slow Garden is a house of one gardener, currently in the garden. position open, since 2011.